Unnatural Phenomena on the Bike Trail

One particular area on the bike trail is worthy of documentation so I set out to photograph it. It's unique - and really creepy.
At the intersection of the bike trail you look down to see the crossing lines waving crookedly across the pavement. At closer look you realize the lines weren't painted crooked. The asphalt has shifted with the lines on it. Is there some unmapped continental shelf or unknown plates shifting under the street?
I always hesitate before crossing the intersection as if the surface will suddenly shift or sink.
The fact it occurs in a forest preserve raises the creepy factor exponentially. Most horror movies contain scenes starting like this. I'm sure of it. This is just before someone yells, "No, no, don't cross the street!!" and hands reach up through the asphalt.
Wasn't this in "Evil Dead'?
Dismounting my bike I stare uneasily at the cryptic squiggles.

Perhaps this smacks of something more theoretical, involving folded space or some dimensional shift?
I feel more uneasy as I reach for my phone.
Phone camera clicking away I was not prepared for the suddenly magical appearance of a black Chevy truck, Foreigner blaring "Urgent" out of the windows and sporting an 80s style purple and pink swoosh across the length of it. "Nice a##", the driver shouts out at me as he rolls to a stop. He punctuates his thoughts with several loud "smooching" sounds before driving off.
Nothing makes a girl's knees as weak as an unshaven stranger in an out of this decade vehicle yelling obscenities and blaring music so tacky it couldn't make a Will Ferrell movie soundtrack. I mean what woman hasn't related a story like this and ended it with "and that's how I met your father."
But I stood still in shock. The world seemed to shimmer with this moment. 
The wild phenomena of the lost in time driver was it! I had discovered the true nature of the twisted crosswalk.
The intersection housed an erratic time warp that scooped undesirables from other decades and dumped them into 2011. 
Instead of a time wormhole I had discovered a time "jerkhole". 
The shear force of it opening and closing to eject the unwanted occupants in our time was twisting the very road. This also explained so much of my past dating experiences. 
All those hours agonizing over a Splenda laden latte were wasted. I could have been out buying shoes!
The ex I had referred to as a Neanderthal really WAS a Neanderthal!
The thought of all the people the "jerkhole" could be expelling was unnerving and helped with my understanding of political candidates. They did just seem to appear out of nowhere.
My excitement faded. I couldn't share this earth shattering scientific find. Without proper scientific funding and research, I would be reduced to shrieking my hypotheses on late night local cable channels, - or Fox News. Sigh. 
Beware The Tower Road Jerkhole.