I ventured out at noon on July 1st and was not disappointed that most spots were filled in interesting ways.
This year's parade stakeouts still revealed the rich (and unraveling) tapestry that is the 2013 Evanston parade attendees.
Depressed
Well, I got the blanket out and started to tape the area off, but what is the point of it all. Sigh.
Depressed and Antisocial
Maybe if I get this corner with concrete around it, people won't get too close.
Paranoid
Look. I know all you people have your eye on these bad boy chairs from Walgreens but forget it! They are triple cabled, staked and padlocked down. If I can just find that key and my taser gun...
Someone Confusing The Parade for Lalapalooza
I was lucky enough to actually MEET the people setting up another row of chairs to their already claimed territory. She explained brightly with the enthusiasm of the truly sleep deprived that they show up at 3 am every year to set up their chairs and guard them until the legal 6 am set up time. After which she goes home to get a nap and MORE CHAIRS. I smile an nod as I back away carefully trying not to make sudden moves from her as she wildly waves "See you at the parade!!!!"
Someone is Just Going to Be Confused
If you're going to label a chair it has to be in a language. Of some kind.
Don't Hassle Me, I'm Local
A new entry this year is us poor schmucks who live on Central street trying to keep people out of our yard. This guy is desperately trying to claim his own yard. Its not uncommon to have people grilling and drag coolers into the yard as their children flick cigarette butts into the flower beds. And its really uncomfortable trying to get them to leave as they make small talk on how easy it is to steal identities online.
Anal Retentive
These people had color coded name badges emailed to them for their section to go with the parade itinerary and historical handout. If you're late, expect to be demoted to the blue row.
Bad Planning
Ok, so you used packing tape and your car to mark off your area and that works for a couple days. So forget what the tape is doing to the finish on your car, what happens if you move your car? And you can see by the "No Parking Sign" right in front of your car, you will have to move it eventually. Hmmm.
TMI
Do I want to know what the bucket is for?
Too Many Trips to the Party Store
Between the banners, flags and decorative garland, its easy to miss that someone has gone to the effort to wrap the bricks weighing down the chairs in red and blue paper. Yikes!
Hardcore New Age Evanstonians
We have carefully placed wooden chairs out front to show our support of natural and renewable resources. The children's chairs are hand painted ones received as a gift from the small South American village we spend each spring break at working on their sewage system. We are so hoping there is more ethnic diversity in the parade this year.
Busy CEO Setup
There was no way I was letting that little weasel from HR tell me I'm not spending quality time with my family. I sent DHL out with my chairs and I know they are set up because I got en email confirming the delivery and I didn't even have to leave my desk.
DANGER AND THIEVERY
Under Construction
"Borrowed" from the parking lot that they are adding blacktop to.
Under Construction
"Borrowed" from the parade route staff.
An Old Favorite: Caution Tape
Nothing keeps people guessing and out of your area like caution tape.
Bilingual Caution Tape
Ay carumba! Que peligroso la Parade de Evanston!
Over the top: Crime Scene Tape
OK. You are not fooling anyone unless the blue chairs did something really, really bad. This may actually have the reverse affect and encourage people to mess with your stuff.
Save Up for Your Kid's Therapy
Yeah, the Barbie jump ropes were probably the easiest thing to find, but are the 5 yr olds going to understand why they can't use them for 3 days just because you were too lazy to find the bungy cords from last year?
